Tirade Lost

Ummm...roQQ has something to say. If you got young kids around you might want to earmuff them, if you know what I mean....

They earmuffed? GOOD.


um....we are experiencing technical difficulties.

(next day)

Okay, he says you don't need earmuffs now. No, really, it's fine....

My internet died on me last night, which was a mixed blessing. Those of you who like things rated G will be relieved that you will be spared last night's tirade directed at Texas, Tennessee, and U of Miami. (Yes, the others are U of ______ too. I have no particular reason to condemn these actual states, even if they are chock-full-o' steers, queers and inbreds, respectively. After all, what's wrong with steers, queers +/or inbreds? But I digress.)

In addition to losing $$ on the Tigers in Game 1 of the World Series, the above teams had me going 0-4 on the weekend. None of them will suffer for it,since they all won, just as they all failed to cover. Miami didn't even come close to covering agaisnt the mighty Duke Blue Devils, and Tennessee didn't cover a teased spread against 'Bama. Of course, the teased over didn't come in either, so what the heck.

Anyway I lost alot of swear words when the internet went out. Believe me when I say that my little tirade did not mention steers, queers, hillbillys, inbreds, or the like. Why would it? Just alot of swear words....

On the other hand I was unable to bet on NFL games, which saved me from betting on Jacksonville, who lost to Houston, and Arizona, who lost to Oakland. Teasing Denver and the under would have come through again, but 1-2 would have helped my percentage for the weekend (1-5--great!) but would have hurt my bottom line.

If I get around to it I will take my frustrations on possibly the most overrated team in NCAA football in '06....

Any guesses who that might be, Mickey?

Detroit Heavy Favorites/ND Faces Great Challenge--not!!

It's Saturday night in Korea, which means Saturday morning on the East coast, which means roQQ is about to try my legendary patience by talking shit about Notre Dame. I guess I could refuse to publish his childish remarks, or better yet, give him up to Brick Top, but hey, this is America, theoretically at least, so you know, freedom of the press and what not. Anyway, what's he gonna do otherwise? Talk about Michigan State? Might as well go to work on yourself with an ice pick and a ball-peen hammer. I notice roQQ isn't laying the 8 on State over Northwestern, and who can blame him? Might as well go bungee jumping with third-hand cords from a flea market. Might as well go trolling for dates at your family reunion. Might as well...ah, I've said enough. Might as well let roQQ say his piece.

Ummm...fuck Notre Dame! Just kidding Mick--sort of. Having missed my chance to bet on a Tiger sweep of Oakland, I see that the oddsmakers have caught up with me and picked Detroit to win in about five. On bodog.com the odds are as follows, translated into fractions, which is how I prefer to get down.

Tigers in 4 15-4
Tigers in 5 5-2
Tigers in 6 13-4
Tigers in 7 24-5

Cardinals in 7 5-1
Cardinals in 6 5.35-1? 5.35 is a hard thing to fraction.
Cardinals in 5 9-1
Cardinals in 4 18-1

Every outcome where the Cardinals win is considered to be a longer shot than the longest Tiger long shot, Tigers in 7. At 5-1 or less, I don't think it's worth betting on any of the Tigers winning results. I'm just wondering if Oakland would be this heavily favored against the Cardinals or Mets, since the AL is considered to be so much stronger these days.

I don't like betting on individual baseball games (I think I'm 1-1 this season), but I think I'll take Detroit and Verlander in game 1 over Reyes, giving 1.5. Why not?

Meanwhile, the clock is ticking down to college football time, so lets get busy.

texas(-6)overNEBRASKA On bet365.com the line is -4.5. Thanks, congress, you cocksuckers. I'm leaning toward a convincing Texas win, but 1.5 points is 1.5 points! Go Colt McCoy!

miami(-18)overDUKE Miami isn't that good, but Duke is TERRIBLE. Seems like there are a few mismatched like this every week. You just have to go find them.

TENNESSEE(-11)overalabama, over 45--tesing this 7 we get TENNESSEE(-4)overalabama, over 38. These teams have been playing some high-scoring games this year....Meanwhile, CAL(-23.5)washington has an over of 52.5. How much of this is because the PAC-10 is considered a high-scoring, passing conference, while the SEC is considered a defensive conference? Hmmmmmmmm...

Notre Dame is a 12.5 to 13.5 favorite over UCLA. This game's importance has little to do with UCLA's being any good. It has everything to do with the weakness of Notre Dame's schedule, especially the next few weeks. UCLA is the only team that even slightly resembles a challenge for the Irish before they finish the season at USC. Aside from West Virginia not having to play anybody, the great potential shame for this season is the vastly overrated Trojans and Irish backdooring their way into 1 or 2 BCS bids after having played nobody in particular other than Cal, Michigan (oops, that didn't quite work out), and each other...crushing. Notre Dame won't need to bust out the voodoo on these guys (though they easily could--dress him up in a bear suit, and clip jumper cables to his balls), but they may again fail to cover. ND pre-empted their voodoo/Santeria habits by loading their schedule with cupcakes....I don't consider either of these teams to be too reliable, so I'm not touching this one (insert priest-altar boy joke here). That'll do it for now.

Go Tigers! Beat St. Louis!

Go Irish! Beat Army!

RoQQ winnings suspended in Cyberspace

Mick here, fenian bastard extrordinaire....RoQQ has won one of his bets on the Tigers, as they have won the AL pennant. Meanwhile, Firepay has stopped servicing their US coustomers, so RoQQ cannot collect from bet365, who also is no longer dealing with Americans, though, like any good sportsbook, they have agreed to honor their debts....Can roQQ find a way to launder his money before Bullet-Tooth Tony catches up with him? Rumor has it that he no longer cares who wins the NLCS, as long as it is over ASAP, so that the Tigers can hurry up and win the World Series....

My foray into the world of football teasers had mixed results Sunday. Cincinnati covered their teased spread, losing by one as 1.5 point dogs, but my teased over of 37.5 was way to high for the 14-13 final score. Meanwhile, the tease won me the Sunday night game, as Denver failed to cover the 15 or so they were favored by, but covered the 7.5, and easily came in under the teased under (43) as well as the original under (36.5?) Those of you who figured Denver could beat teh worst team in the league by more than 15, despite averaging 12.2 points per game were proved wrong, as the Broncos scored a massive 13, and won 13-3. The under, however, was no problem at all.

Meanwhile, in more conventional betting, I went 2-1-1, as follows:

DALLAS(-13.5)34, houston6 Nailed that one...
sandiego(-10)48 SANFRANCISCO 19 and that one too...
NYJETS(-3)20 miami 17-- at bet365 I could have given 2.5--fuck congress--you too, dubya!
chicago(-10)24 ARIZONA 23 Ha! No comment....Ooops!

In related news, roQQ has stopped fawning over Carson Palmer like some love-struck teenage girl....As for Carson, he still doesn't know roQQ exists, so nothing's changed, right? Well, aside from the Bengals have stopped winning, that is....Who can fill the QB shaped void in roQQ's life? Rex Grossman? Matt Leinart? Maybe Phillip Rivers or Drew Brees....Too bad they're not both on the Chargers these days--roQQ always liked that kinky shit....

Tigers Advance/roQQ Revels

RoQQ called from his lair to chortle about the Tigers' recent success, amd boast that he is now four games away from a big payoff. I told the prick to can it or he'd jinx the poor bastards, and that seemed to calm him down. Meanwhile, he has discovered teasers, some examples of which follow. He warned me that these should not be considered advice, though roQQ is betting on them himself.

Thanks, Mick. I won my bet on game one of Cardinals-Mets, as Glavine pitched New York to a 2-0 victory. Fortunately I didn't persist, as the Mets dropped the next two games and are poised to blow the series.

Meanwhile, I was predicting short LCSes, expecting to see the Tigers and Mets win in 4 or 5 games. Unfortunately, I bet on the Mets in 4, the Mets in 5, and the Tigers in 5. Naturally, the Tigers win in4, the only short series I didn't have money on, though the A's did their best to oblige me by jumping out to a 3-0 lead in game 4 before finally falling 6-3. Now, my intent was to wait until after game 1, and take the Tigers in 4 if they won. I wanted to wait to see if they beat Zito before taking the longshot, which it appears would have paid me at 8-1. Unfortunately I took a nap between work and the game, and forgot to get the bet in. After game 2 bodog never opened the betting again on that series. If they had no doubt the odds would have shrunk considerably, but still probably could have covered my other 3 bets.

If you are considering betting on a sweep,

1.) Make sure you are betting on a hot team.
2.) Preferably a hot team with dominant pitching (or a hot goalie).
3.) All else being equal, the odds of a sweep should be about 15-1. Of course, if two teams really are equal you might want to pick one of them in 7 instead. But consider the psychology of the sweep. How many times have you seen a team win game 4 when they are down 3-0? Not many, right? While these days teams may have visions of the '04 Red Sox dancing in their heads, chances are still pretty7 good that they will lay down in game 4. The odds of a 3 game sweep are 7-1, and I don't think the odds get much worse when you include a game four.

Now that the Mets have lost twice and can't win either of my series bets, I sort of want St. Louis to win, just because I don't really want to see the Mets play the Tigers. I don't really feel like rooting against the Mets, and I don't think they will give as good a fight as the Cardinals will, now that their decimated starting pitchng has exposed their relief pitching. Watching them play LA I really thought the Mets would be unstoppable offensively, but I didn't know about the arm on the Cardnails catcher. Have the Mets stolen anything yet? Bottom line, I don't want to wallow in what Bill Simmons likes to call sports bigamy. (As long as they don't play each other I am guilty of sports bigamy, but I'm not wallowing in it...Go tigers! Go Mets!)

I considered taking Michigan(-5to-6.5)overPENNSTATE, but held back. The Wolverines covered, 17-10, after leading 17-3. Michigan just hasn't shown the kind of domination I want to see before laying points to a Penn State team that may be out for revenge for last year. Oh, except for when they beat the tar out of Notre Dame, 47-21, that is. Remember that game as you fatten up on North Carolina and the service acadamies, you Fenian bastards!

Um...where was I? Right, no college picks again this week. I'm still

a.) Working too much
b.) Paying too much attention to MLB playoffs
c.) Rehabing after my performance 2 and 3 weeks ago.

But hey, that doesn't mean we can't knock out a few NFL bets before the games start! Fuck no.

cincy(-5.5)TAMPABAY/ o/u 44.5--
after teasing this game 7 points, I take cincy and the over--
cincy(+1.5)overTAMPA, over 37.5 The 7 point tease makes you risk 13 to win 10. I could have gotten slightly better odds for 6 or 6.5 points, but I think 38 points (the total of a 24-14 or 28-10 game) could be a pivotal number.

Meanwhile,

DALLAS(-13.5)overhouston Cowboys will beat Texans like a gong even as the inevitable T.O. implosion continues.

I want to tease Phily and the over at New Orleans, but bodog won't let me. Phily can't hold a lead with their lack of a power running game, so I would expect some scoring. Oh well...what else? nygiants(+3)overATLANTA? Nah. I don't trust either one of these teams, and with the Falcons playing low scoring games, and the Giants playing high scoring games, I can't decide wich way to tease either.

NYJETS(-3)overmiami Did the Jets lose 41-0 to Jacksonville last week? Yep. But I have alot of faith in Miami--to lose. I like Pennington over Harrington in the Meadowlands.

sandiego(-10)overSANFRAN Should the Niners be this big of a dog at home? We'll see. I'm tempted to tease this, but Charger games tend to go under, and Niner games over. For example, the 'Niners-Chiefs game made the over (39.5) as the Chiefs won, 41-0.

DENVER(-14.5)overoakland Denver is averageing 12.2 points per game, so I'm not wild about this spread, even vs the mighty Raiders. Solution? Tease it! DENVER(-7.5)overoakland, under 43. I'm tempted to do -8.5, under 42. These teams aren't scoring anywhere near 42 points.

chicago(-12)overARIZONA Hopefully I'm near a TV when the Bears defense roughs up Matt Leinart. Sould be fun to watch. The rookie could outperform Kurt Warner and still suffer through 5 sacks, two picks and a fumble--realize that I'm talking about a respectable QB performance here--it could be worse.

So, we'll see if I am teasing, being teased, or what. This concept seems to be stimulating action from this degenerate gambler...

A's not standing in way of roQQ Solvency

Mickey here. You might think that with the skid he's been on roQQ would be looking to hedge his bets, maybe get some $$ down on Oakland or something, but the news from his undisclosed location is anything but. Here's what he sent me.

Tigers-A's is underway, and my reception is kinda wierd. The pitchers look two-dimensional and pasted on, and Zito in particular looks like he is glowing. Thankfully the Tiger grey is a little less intense. Frank Thomas is batting with one out and two men on, so my bet on the Tigers in five games could already be in jeopardy....good, Frank flew out to center. If there's any trend that has stood out to me the last couple of years it is lopsided playoff victories. Of course the Red Sox' come-from-behind victory over the Yankees was the most memorable event in baseball in a long time, but does anyone recall the rest of their playoff run? The Red Sox swept the Angels in 3, and the Cardinals in 4 games. The Cardinals took 7 games to beat the Astros that year, but swept the Dodgers in 3 in the NLDS.

Last year? If my computer unfreezes, I think I'll be able to confirm that before the Astros beat the Cardinals in 6, they beat the Braves in 5, while the Cardinals swept the Padres. What I can tell you is that the White Sox swept the Red Sox in 3, beat the Angels in 5, and swept the Astros in 4. I believe the Angels beat the Yankees in 4 as well....Nope, Angels-Yankees went five...Astros-Braves went 4, and--

Brandon Inge just hit a line drive...into the seats down the left field line--home run, 1-0 Tigers. Granderson follows up with a double to right. If the Tigers get up by about 3 I may put money on them to sweep at 9-1. Zito-Robertson should be the least favorable pitching matchup for the Tigers. Hmmm. Zito walks Polanco, two on, all this with two outs. The notoriously free-swinging Tigers have been watching Zito throw alot of junk---ooh! Zito almost hit Sean Casey! Speaking of patience, Zito just walked Casey, and the bases are loaded.

Ordonez gets a rare infield single, and it's 2-0. Yes, St. Louis swept San Diego last year. Zito gets out of the inning without allowing any more runs, as the announcers say that he seems scared to use his fastball since the Inge Homer. The ESPN guy that picked the A's in 7 seemed to think that Oakland had an edge because the Tigers are a fastball hitting team, but the A's are not a fastball pitching team. Personally, I think the Tigers have better hitting and better pitching than the A's--the closest recent parallel to me is White Sox-Astros. Like the Astros, Oakland is a mediocre offensive team with strong pitching. Like the Sox, the Tigers are a good offensive team with even better pitching. While the Tigers won the season series only 5-4, and while this series could easily go 6 or 7 games, you get paid better for betting on a short series. Oh yeah, one more thing. While you could argue that both teams are hot, I think that the Tigers are HOT.

Ummm....Ivan Rodriguez just homered to right-center. 3-0 Tigers.

Unfortunately, bodog has closed out betting during the game. I'm guessing that if the Tigers win Game 1, the odds of a sweep will drop from 10-1 down to 6 or 7 to 1. It's the 4th inning and the announcers are calling for the A's to pull Zito.

Inge doubles off the left-center wall, driving in a run, 4-0.

Two outs, 5-0, men on the corners, and they just pulled Zito. I'm really wishing I got some $$ down on the sweep....

Ordonez grounds out, stopping the bleeding. Meanwhile, I did bet on the Mets to sweep the Cardinals, at 9-1, in addition to taking the Mets in 5, at 4-1. I think there have been enough short series lately that these could be good value bets, especially sweeps. I must admit that part of my reason for leading towards 4 or 5 game series' goes back to my picking the White Sox in six over the Astros last year in this space, just before the sweep. So be it.

Nice. Robertson let Oakland get runners to second and third, took an ass-chewing from Jim Leyland, then struck out the next three batters. Rally squashed. This is the kind of offensive output I was expecting from Oakland....

The A's got a couple more baserunners in the bottom, of the 5th, but the Tiger's 3rd double play, followed by a diving catch in left by Monroe, and the Tigers are out of the inning. While I'm thinking of it, the A's are kind of like the Houston Oilers, or the Cleveland Browns, back when they always made the playoffs but never quite got over the hump. This is not so much a reason to take the Tigers as a reason to stay away from the A's.

Are the Tigers a team of destiny? To me "team of destiny" carries a pretty strong underdog connotation. I don't think Detroit should be an underdog to any team left in the playoffs. If they had not finished the season so ice cold I think you could favor them against the Yankees, despiter their aura, mystique, and 220 million dollar payroll....

Is it me, or does Nick Swisher look like a less 'roided version of Jason Giambi, back when he was with the A's? He's got the hair on his chinny-chin-chin, the too much hair on top for George the Boss...he doesn't look as sweaty or strung-out, but why split hairs?

The Tigers retire the A's in the 7th with their 4th double play, 3-6-1. A few outs ago the announcers were talking about how the A's have tarped the Colisseum's upper deck, so 35,000 or so looks like a sell-out. Then they said that they figure they will sell more tickets for the World Series. I guess they meant to say IF they advance. I feel bad for Oakland. It's great how they manage to be competitive when they can't sell tickets, and have a relatively modest team salary, but it still annoys me how evenly matched these teams supposedly are. While they are all saying 6 or 7 games, 3 out of 5 ESPN "experts" took Oakland. Has everyone forgotten that Detroit had the best record in MLB for about 90% of the season?

Oakland finally scores a run on a grounder off Joel Zumaya's right leg, that turned into a 1-5-3 out, much to the disbelief of A's fans. Zumaya finishes the inning and seems fine....What could hurt more than a grounder off Zumaya to the leg? (Besides a line drive off Zumaya to the head, I mean.)

The Tigers win, 5-1, with their #4 starter vs. Oakland's #1 starter. The pitching matchups should favor the Tigers for the next three games. I hope the sweep odds don't drop too much. Oh yeah, I have the Mets (-1.5)over the Cardinals in game 1, Glavine vs Wever. Write it down.

RoQQ almost sat out the football weekend, but did bet on the Bears and Pats in the end, both of whom were favored by ten. The Bears roughed up the Bills, 40-7, but the Pats only squeezed out a 20-10 victory vs. Miami for the push. So roQQ goes 1-0-1. A winning record! Wow. What's the equivalent here? A cripple limping over to the fridge? Congratulations, roQQ. You're the best.

MICK DELIVERS ROQQ PIX/OH CANADA!....

RoQQ called me from a payphone to say--"I'm taking NEWENGLAND(-10)over miami, and CHICAGO (-10)over buffalo." Then he said to parlay those with Kansas City. Um...just kidding about the last part. He also said you can't squeeze blood from a roQQ, and said it didn't matter because he is moving to Canada now that Congress has outlawed his lifestyle....Here I figured he'd just move to Vermont, or maybe the Bay Area....

If you want to follow the advice of a sports handicapper who is on the lam due to a staggering losing streak that's your business. Consider yourself warned.

Go Tigers! I mean, go TigerCats!

roQQ boTTom's Fate Hinges on Detroit Victory

Pugilant Mick here again. It looks like RoQQ will sson surface again, on the strength of the Tigers performance against the Yankees. The Tigers lead the series 2-1, and cuurently take an 8-1 lead into the bottom of the 7th inning. RoQQ stands to win a 25-1 bet if the Tigers win the pennant, and 50-1 and 30-1 bets if they win the World Series, so apparently his credit is good again, and the odds on his legs getting broken are fading fast, but fuck that--GO ZITO! Nah, as a Mick from Michigan, I want to see the Tigers win too. I woulda paid more attention to the current game, but I was watching NOTRE DAME beat Stanford, 31-10. Right now I'm watching the Yankees lose with the sound off so I can more easily fantisize about a four-way with Brady Quinn, his sister, and A.J. Hawk. Can I say that? Just kidding. I'm not the one with a Carson Palmer fetish. I guess I've got a fresh mouth when I've diminished the world's supply of Miller Lite by a case-and-a-half or so. Just be glad I'm not doing shots!

Notre Dame is the Best

Mick here. I knew somethin' was up when roQQ came to collect from me. Said somethin' about rent, and wiring some cash to his wife, but lets get serious. This joker's gone 1-7-2 the last two weeks. If it wasn't for him getting a better spread than everyone else in the world on the Bears-Vikes game, and an unlikely comeback by Cleveland last week, to push against the worst team in the NFL, he'd be 1-9. Ever seen Two for the Money? Well, roQQ is no John Anthony. He's more like John Anthony's crippled retard closet-queer cousin, best-case scenario. What's that? His wife? Wife-schmife! What do you think the QQ stands for? A poker hand? Poker? Try poke-him ...Where was I? Oh yeah. This guy couldn't pick a winner if you spotted him his own nose.

No Virginia, this wasn't about rent. This was about hiding out from Bullet-Tooth Tony so he doesn't bring you to Brick-Top to be a meal for some pigs. (Remember, bet365 is a British site--durn limeys...) RoQQ has hit boTTom, and now he's hunkering down and hoping one of his pennant picks comes through....(by the way, what's with this cutsey crap he tries to pull with small and capital letters? roQQ boTTom? How's 'bout briQQ TTop? He should call this blog QQueer Eye for Football Handicapping.) Guess what? The White Sox missed the playoffs with the 5th best record in the majors, and the third best record in the suddenly mighty AL Central....The Astro's went on a ridiculous streak to almost catch the Cardinals, but just missed. And as we speak, the Yankees are beating the Tigers like a gong. It's 5-0 at the end of the 4th. 50-1 on Detroit may have been a great bet, but now it's looking like that big payday may never come.

Craig Monroe just led off the 5th with a solo shot. 5-1 Yanks. Hmmmm.

You want a prediction? Tomorrow roQQ will throw his beloved Mets onto the tracks of the 7 train, and root for the Dodgers, all to win a lousy 8-1 bet....fucking sellout motherfucking faggot

Tigers are rallying in the 5th--its 5-3, two outs. I just received a call from an undisclosed location, and roQQ is claiming credit for his Tigers rally cap, worn like a shark fin.

See? This is the kind of rooting roQQ could deny the Mets. They're already being denied Pedro Martinez, and now El Duque is pulling up lame. At this rate David Wright and Jose Reyes will be in the starting rotation. Maybe pulling for a repeat of the '88 playoffs is the right idea. The A's are in it again. Anyone got a limping Kirk Gibson bobble-head? Go Dodgers!

Hmmm....remember how Alex Rodriquez got a hit in the 3rd inning when the Yankees were up 5-0? Well, now that the Yankees are nursing a two run lead, A-Rod struck out. RoQQ immediately called from the bunker to say that during the at-bat he de-rally-ed his cap, because the Yanks had a man on and the baseball Gods might be confused. Great--he's broke and delusional.

ESPN called and said they will sue if roQQ changes the name of the blog to QQueer Eye for the Sports Guy, The Sports Guy being copyrighted by them, or maybe Bill Simmons. I don't mind admitting not quite keeping up with all this lawyer-speak, especially when shouted over a crackling cellular connection. Personally, I think Simmons is jealous of roQQ's crush on Carson Palmer, but now that the Pats embarrassed the Bengals he should get off Palmer's jock. Love is fickle. That Palmer, he's no John David Booty, tell yew whut.

Big Picture, ESPN clarly has one of our phones tapped. I never mentioned the QQueer eye angle except on the phone.

I haven't been keeping up. It's the 7th inning strech and the Yanks are up 7-4. They found some Irish Tenor to sing God Bless America. I'm torn between my Irish pride, as I am THE Puglilant Mick, and a feeling of nausea brought on by the tenor reminding me of the Priest that um...one of my friends...um...never mind....

Jason Giambi is leading off in the Bottom of the 7th, and just got walked. A-Rod is up. On a related note, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's lawyers are on the phone, making threats that I cannot repeat here....A-Rod just flew out. Clutch.

Stanford is playing at Notre Dame this weekend, and the Irish are favored by 31.5. RoQQ says he's not touching it, because Notre Dame keeps failing to cover, while Stanford managed to lose the Midshipmen...speaking of Navy, we got a really good faggot theme going on here. If A-Rod does anything in the next two innings I'm gonna have to call him Gay-Rod. Enough with the subtle hints. Meanwhile, roQQ says that while they probably won't cover, they shouldn't have to use the voodoo tree ritual against the Cardinal. I told him I'll settle for a 30 point Irish victory, thank you very much! What's with crap football teams and the Bay area? Cal is ok, but the Raiders, Niners, and Stanford? It's like this football black hole...speaking of which, shold I go for the obvious joke here? No? Ok.

One out bottom of the 8th, and Derek Jeter just hit a solo home run, for an 8-4 lead. This seems like the time to mention that outside Fenway Park you can buy shirts that say YANKEES SUCK on the front, and JETER SWALLOWS on the back, above the number 2.

Top of the 9th, and the Yankees are using Mariano Rivera, despite a four run lead. One of the announcers is explaining Rivera's arm injury....what did I do with that voodoo doll?....Now that I'm getting ESPN Insider I've discovered that Notre Dame really does use voodooo--and I thought RoQQ was nuts...of course, any remaining sceptics can be excused for chalking up their recent comeback to the "SUCK of the Spartans" instead of the LUCK-o' the Irish, especially after their loss to the mighty University of Illinois...

The Tigers grounded into a double play to lose the game. Highlights of earlier double plays show Gary Sheffield practically doing the splits at his new post. You'd almost think he'd been playing there for the last twenty years, instead of in the outfield. If Shef is that flexible I guess there's no chance of him getting injured...um...where's that doll...oh, if Mariano gets contact dermatitis(sp?) on his right arm then I must be doing something wrong....Jeter got five hits including two doubles and a homer, despite the ugly rumors. Why don't I use voodoo on Jeter? Because he's clearly indestructable....In the press conference the likely MVP said that when he plays in Detroit the fans yell "sellout" at him, since he's from Kalamazoo and his dad is a huge Tiger fan--they do? Good.