Notre Dame is the Best
Mick here. I knew somethin' was up when roQQ came to collect from me. Said somethin' about rent, and wiring some cash to his wife, but lets get serious. This joker's gone 1-7-2 the last two weeks. If it wasn't for him getting a better spread than everyone else in the world on the Bears-Vikes game, and an unlikely comeback by Cleveland last week, to push against the worst team in the NFL, he'd be 1-9. Ever seen Two for the Money? Well, roQQ is no John Anthony. He's more like John Anthony's crippled retard closet-queer cousin, best-case scenario. What's that? His wife? Wife-schmife! What do you think the QQ stands for? A poker hand? Poker? Try poke-him ...Where was I? Oh yeah. This guy couldn't pick a winner if you spotted him his own nose.
No Virginia, this wasn't about rent. This was about hiding out from Bullet-Tooth Tony so he doesn't bring you to Brick-Top to be a meal for some pigs. (Remember, bet365 is a British site--durn limeys...) RoQQ has hit boTTom, and now he's hunkering down and hoping one of his pennant picks comes through....(by the way, what's with this cutsey crap he tries to pull with small and capital letters? roQQ boTTom? How's 'bout briQQ TTop? He should call this blog QQueer Eye for Football Handicapping.) Guess what? The White Sox missed the playoffs with the 5th best record in the majors, and the third best record in the suddenly mighty AL Central....The Astro's went on a ridiculous streak to almost catch the Cardinals, but just missed. And as we speak, the Yankees are beating the Tigers like a gong. It's 5-0 at the end of the 4th. 50-1 on Detroit may have been a great bet, but now it's looking like that big payday may never come.
Craig Monroe just led off the 5th with a solo shot. 5-1 Yanks. Hmmmm.
You want a prediction? Tomorrow roQQ will throw his beloved Mets onto the tracks of the 7 train, and root for the Dodgers, all to win a lousy 8-1 bet....fucking sellout motherfucking faggot
Tigers are rallying in the 5th--its 5-3, two outs. I just received a call from an undisclosed location, and roQQ is claiming credit for his Tigers rally cap, worn like a shark fin.
See? This is the kind of rooting roQQ could deny the Mets. They're already being denied Pedro Martinez, and now El Duque is pulling up lame. At this rate David Wright and Jose Reyes will be in the starting rotation. Maybe pulling for a repeat of the '88 playoffs is the right idea. The A's are in it again. Anyone got a limping Kirk Gibson bobble-head? Go Dodgers!
Hmmm....remember how Alex Rodriquez got a hit in the 3rd inning when the Yankees were up 5-0? Well, now that the Yankees are nursing a two run lead, A-Rod struck out. RoQQ immediately called from the bunker to say that during the at-bat he de-rally-ed his cap, because the Yanks had a man on and the baseball Gods might be confused. Great--he's broke and delusional.
ESPN called and said they will sue if roQQ changes the name of the blog to QQueer Eye for the Sports Guy, The Sports Guy being copyrighted by them, or maybe Bill Simmons. I don't mind admitting not quite keeping up with all this lawyer-speak, especially when shouted over a crackling cellular connection. Personally, I think Simmons is jealous of roQQ's crush on Carson Palmer, but now that the Pats embarrassed the Bengals he should get off Palmer's jock. Love is fickle. That Palmer, he's no John David Booty, tell yew whut.
Big Picture, ESPN clarly has one of our phones tapped. I never mentioned the QQueer eye angle except on the phone.
I haven't been keeping up. It's the 7th inning strech and the Yanks are up 7-4. They found some Irish Tenor to sing God Bless America. I'm torn between my Irish pride, as I am THE Puglilant Mick, and a feeling of nausea brought on by the tenor reminding me of the Priest that um...one of my friends...um...never mind....
Jason Giambi is leading off in the Bottom of the 7th, and just got walked. A-Rod is up. On a related note, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's lawyers are on the phone, making threats that I cannot repeat here....A-Rod just flew out. Clutch.
Stanford is playing at Notre Dame this weekend, and the Irish are favored by 31.5. RoQQ says he's not touching it, because Notre Dame keeps failing to cover, while Stanford managed to lose the Midshipmen...speaking of Navy, we got a really good faggot theme going on here. If A-Rod does anything in the next two innings I'm gonna have to call him Gay-Rod. Enough with the subtle hints. Meanwhile, roQQ says that while they probably won't cover, they shouldn't have to use the voodoo tree ritual against the Cardinal. I told him I'll settle for a 30 point Irish victory, thank you very much! What's with crap football teams and the Bay area? Cal is ok, but the Raiders, Niners, and Stanford? It's like this football black hole...speaking of which, shold I go for the obvious joke here? No? Ok.
One out bottom of the 8th, and Derek Jeter just hit a solo home run, for an 8-4 lead. This seems like the time to mention that outside Fenway Park you can buy shirts that say YANKEES SUCK on the front, and JETER SWALLOWS on the back, above the number 2.
Top of the 9th, and the Yankees are using Mariano Rivera, despite a four run lead. One of the announcers is explaining Rivera's arm injury....what did I do with that voodoo doll?....Now that I'm getting ESPN Insider I've discovered that Notre Dame really does use voodooo--and I thought RoQQ was nuts...of course, any remaining sceptics can be excused for chalking up their recent comeback to the "SUCK of the Spartans" instead of the LUCK-o' the Irish, especially after their loss to the mighty University of Illinois...
The Tigers grounded into a double play to lose the game. Highlights of earlier double plays show Gary Sheffield practically doing the splits at his new post. You'd almost think he'd been playing there for the last twenty years, instead of in the outfield. If Shef is that flexible I guess there's no chance of him getting injured...um...where's that doll...oh, if Mariano gets contact dermatitis(sp?) on his right arm then I must be doing something wrong....Jeter got five hits including two doubles and a homer, despite the ugly rumors. Why don't I use voodoo on Jeter? Because he's clearly indestructable....In the press conference the likely MVP said that when he plays in Detroit the fans yell "sellout" at him, since he's from Kalamazoo and his dad is a huge Tiger fan--they do? Good.
No Virginia, this wasn't about rent. This was about hiding out from Bullet-Tooth Tony so he doesn't bring you to Brick-Top to be a meal for some pigs. (Remember, bet365 is a British site--durn limeys...) RoQQ has hit boTTom, and now he's hunkering down and hoping one of his pennant picks comes through....(by the way, what's with this cutsey crap he tries to pull with small and capital letters? roQQ boTTom? How's 'bout briQQ TTop? He should call this blog QQueer Eye for Football Handicapping.) Guess what? The White Sox missed the playoffs with the 5th best record in the majors, and the third best record in the suddenly mighty AL Central....The Astro's went on a ridiculous streak to almost catch the Cardinals, but just missed. And as we speak, the Yankees are beating the Tigers like a gong. It's 5-0 at the end of the 4th. 50-1 on Detroit may have been a great bet, but now it's looking like that big payday may never come.
Craig Monroe just led off the 5th with a solo shot. 5-1 Yanks. Hmmmm.
You want a prediction? Tomorrow roQQ will throw his beloved Mets onto the tracks of the 7 train, and root for the Dodgers, all to win a lousy 8-1 bet....fucking sellout motherfucking faggot
Tigers are rallying in the 5th--its 5-3, two outs. I just received a call from an undisclosed location, and roQQ is claiming credit for his Tigers rally cap, worn like a shark fin.
See? This is the kind of rooting roQQ could deny the Mets. They're already being denied Pedro Martinez, and now El Duque is pulling up lame. At this rate David Wright and Jose Reyes will be in the starting rotation. Maybe pulling for a repeat of the '88 playoffs is the right idea. The A's are in it again. Anyone got a limping Kirk Gibson bobble-head? Go Dodgers!
Hmmm....remember how Alex Rodriquez got a hit in the 3rd inning when the Yankees were up 5-0? Well, now that the Yankees are nursing a two run lead, A-Rod struck out. RoQQ immediately called from the bunker to say that during the at-bat he de-rally-ed his cap, because the Yanks had a man on and the baseball Gods might be confused. Great--he's broke and delusional.
ESPN called and said they will sue if roQQ changes the name of the blog to QQueer Eye for the Sports Guy, The Sports Guy being copyrighted by them, or maybe Bill Simmons. I don't mind admitting not quite keeping up with all this lawyer-speak, especially when shouted over a crackling cellular connection. Personally, I think Simmons is jealous of roQQ's crush on Carson Palmer, but now that the Pats embarrassed the Bengals he should get off Palmer's jock. Love is fickle. That Palmer, he's no John David Booty, tell yew whut.
Big Picture, ESPN clarly has one of our phones tapped. I never mentioned the QQueer eye angle except on the phone.
I haven't been keeping up. It's the 7th inning strech and the Yanks are up 7-4. They found some Irish Tenor to sing God Bless America. I'm torn between my Irish pride, as I am THE Puglilant Mick, and a feeling of nausea brought on by the tenor reminding me of the Priest that um...one of my friends...um...never mind....
Jason Giambi is leading off in the Bottom of the 7th, and just got walked. A-Rod is up. On a related note, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's lawyers are on the phone, making threats that I cannot repeat here....A-Rod just flew out. Clutch.
Stanford is playing at Notre Dame this weekend, and the Irish are favored by 31.5. RoQQ says he's not touching it, because Notre Dame keeps failing to cover, while Stanford managed to lose the Midshipmen...speaking of Navy, we got a really good faggot theme going on here. If A-Rod does anything in the next two innings I'm gonna have to call him Gay-Rod. Enough with the subtle hints. Meanwhile, roQQ says that while they probably won't cover, they shouldn't have to use the voodoo tree ritual against the Cardinal. I told him I'll settle for a 30 point Irish victory, thank you very much! What's with crap football teams and the Bay area? Cal is ok, but the Raiders, Niners, and Stanford? It's like this football black hole...speaking of which, shold I go for the obvious joke here? No? Ok.
One out bottom of the 8th, and Derek Jeter just hit a solo home run, for an 8-4 lead. This seems like the time to mention that outside Fenway Park you can buy shirts that say YANKEES SUCK on the front, and JETER SWALLOWS on the back, above the number 2.
Top of the 9th, and the Yankees are using Mariano Rivera, despite a four run lead. One of the announcers is explaining Rivera's arm injury....what did I do with that voodoo doll?....Now that I'm getting ESPN Insider I've discovered that Notre Dame really does use voodooo--and I thought RoQQ was nuts...of course, any remaining sceptics can be excused for chalking up their recent comeback to the "SUCK of the Spartans" instead of the LUCK-o' the Irish, especially after their loss to the mighty University of Illinois...
The Tigers grounded into a double play to lose the game. Highlights of earlier double plays show Gary Sheffield practically doing the splits at his new post. You'd almost think he'd been playing there for the last twenty years, instead of in the outfield. If Shef is that flexible I guess there's no chance of him getting injured...um...where's that doll...oh, if Mariano gets contact dermatitis(sp?) on his right arm then I must be doing something wrong....Jeter got five hits including two doubles and a homer, despite the ugly rumors. Why don't I use voodoo on Jeter? Because he's clearly indestructable....In the press conference the likely MVP said that when he plays in Detroit the fans yell "sellout" at him, since he's from Kalamazoo and his dad is a huge Tiger fan--they do? Good.
posted by roQQ | 5:55 PM
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