I Converse with Fans on ESPN

I jsut chipped into a ESPN "conversation" regarding the Patriots "cheating," which apparently is still a sensitive subject. Here is what I said....

Yep. Dante would put Eric Mangini in the 9th circle of hell with Burtus, Cassius, and Judas. Of course, Dante would probably be a Juventus fan, so that changes everything....Juve got relegated down to Serie B for cheating, and have to work their way back up--if the NFL had relegation the Lions would be playing Ap State in the Meineke Car Care Bowl and Donald Rumsfeld would be their GM, replacing the recently dismissed Matt Millen, since then hired by Mongolian BBQ as a stir-fry jockey....the lesson, as always--don't drink Robo b4 5:00 and never, EVER spike it with cheap Portugese wine...

I'm wondering if there's a way to jump into enough of these conversation streams and link them to this blog to make me into a media phenomenon. There probably is, but that doesn't mean I'm smart enough to piece it all together. I'm about as computer savy as Derek Zoolander, though as a male model I definitely would be more of a Hansel--He's so HOT right now....(!!)

Here's another post, just delivered:

Factor in the teeming hordes of Giants fans lining up to gamble and the Giants could be favored by 2 or 3 at Tampa Bay. Looks like a sucker bet, but I might still take them since I think the second round is their time to flame out this year. Meanwhile, the Pats are still giving 2 TD spreads despite the fact that their blowouts ceased weeks ago....I still see the Pats getting it done, but if the oddsmakers don't let up I might have to short them every game. I'm expecting the Chargers to embarrass themselves at some point, but they should have an easy first round game, and they seem to have Indy's number, so who knows? If San Diego can follow Pittsburgh's example and win it all despite gross incompetence and no game plan, the implications could be staggering, especially in an election year. Speaking of gross incompetence, tell Mel Kiper to move Mario Manningham up to where ever the Lions are picking--either way, the result today at Lambeau will change nothing.

Not completely coherent, but I'm going for more of a gonzo, hallucinatory point of view here. It looks to me like there are so many people posting that my thread will be swept up and unnoticed. I might cut and paste my stuff over to a Lions thread...spread it around--

I have cut&pasted the above over to a Lions thread...I have also posted the following on both threads, since I keep going back & forth between the 16-0 Pats and the soon to be fired Mike Martz....

16-0 IS a big deal. of course, but I wouldn't go calling this the best team ever as long as they continue to abandon the run. The lack of running leaves them vulnerable, especially when you compare them to other all time great teams. If they do go the way of the '01 Rams, this will be why....

In their defense, if you were bent on running up the score against the entire league just to prove a point, and you'd just acquired Randy Moss, wouldn't you air it out to him over and over? It's hard to beat teams by 30 when you gain 4 yards and the clock keeps ticking--

Not going deep to Moss would be like Goldinger getting a new Death Ray and not boasting about it to Mr. Bond, or like Darth Vader neglecting to flex his fully operational Death Star. It'd be like Mike Martz neglecting to use Calvin Johnson....(this is why the Lions don't get compared to cinematic villans very often, nor will Martz, as long as he remains in Detroit, which is to say for the next eight hours.)

At least Belichek doesn't have league MVP Marshall Faulk--neglecting him would be inexcusable. For that matter, neither does Martz--this time. On the other hand, he could have had Adrian Peterson to ignore this whole season. If he did, it would make some sense to fire him...since he does not, it makes more sense to fire Millen, unless somebody unearths footage of Martz talking Millen into drafting yet another receiver.

Scratch that. I'd still fire Millen.

Maybe Oakland could pick up Martz. Then he could wear black, and work for Al Davis. As soon as the Raiders cease being bunglers Martz could get compared to cinematic villans again.* So could the Raiders, for that matter.

Bunglers just don't make good cinematic villans. This is why Dubya won't get compared to cinematic villans--much. Of course, it doesn't help much that his evil is open to debate, but the main problem is rampant bungling. What about Farenheit 911, you ask. Well, Farenheit 911 was not a typical movie, and Dubya was not a typical villan.

You could argue that Bush the Younger also doesn't make a good villan because of his personality, but this only clouds the issue. Bush the Elder would make a better villan, but this is not because he was less likeable. It's because he was more competant. It also helps to be the former Director of the CIA. Or Treadstone.

It is true that Hillary Clinton is less likeable than Bush the Younger, and it is true that she could make a good villan--think Meryl Streep in The Manchurian Candidate--or the Devil Wears Prada. In fact, you could argue Streep was actually playing Hillary in The Manchurian Candidate. And you'd be right.

But villans can be likeable too. Jack Nicholson was a likeable Joker, and Rudy Giuliani could play one too, even if his sense of humor isn't quite so zany. Will Heath Ledger play a likeable Joker? I don't know, but he has something else in common with Hizzoner. Giuliani used to have Gay roomates, and in Brokeback Mountain Ledger had Jake Gyllenhaal. Nightly.

Speaking of likeable villans, who is more likeable than Bill Clinton? Think John Travolta in Primary Colors or Broken Arrow. Or Swordfish. Or Battlefield Earth. Or Urban Cowboy.

If Hillary gets elected I think we should call Bill "Clinton the Male," or maybe "He-Clinton".... Bush the Elder, Bush the Younger, He-Clinton, She-Clinton. Should clear everything right up. Or we elect Barak or Rudy....

But enough with the Bushes & Clintons. They may be evil, they may be bunglers, but we can do worse. The former owner of the Texas Rangers can't hold a candle to the dynasty running the Detroit Lions into the ground (not to mention Ford Motor Company.) Dynasties tend to be founded by cinematic villans and evil geniuses, but nepotism inevatibly leads to bunglers. You say George W. Bush, I say William Clay Ford. Say what you like about Donald Rumsfeld, but at least he's no Matt Millen. Rumsfeld became Secretary of Defense in 2001, the same year Matt Millen became GM of the Lions. Rummy resigned in December 2006. Unfortunately, Millie soldiers on.

Bush the Elder had a Cocker Spaniel named Millie. The Fords have a millie of their own, and he is one Dog of a GM....

* I just did, remember? Besides, offensive genius to evil genius just isn't that much of a stretch.

I Win Buy-In

Just busted out of a NLHE Rebuy tournament, finishing 70th out of 314 players. On the other hand, about a half hour before that I won a $2300 Rebuy Frenzy. The top two qualify for "The Grand Tournament, where $500,000 is guaranteed. I checked this out yesterday, and I'm pretty sure the actual tournament is next weekend in a time where I'm not working....

If You don't win your way in, the Grand Tourney has a buy in of $1000+$40. I'm pretty sure this buy-in is the biggest tournement prize I've won. Nice!

Who Plays Draw?

Just took 3rd in the $1000 Rebuy 5 Card Draw tournament on www.mansion.com. There were 77 players and I won $160. First place was $384, and the final 10 made the money. In the last two days I came close to the money in about 4 tournaments, so I guess I was due. I seem to do fairly well in draw tournaments, considering that I hardly ever play it. My suspicion is that nobody who regularly played it back when it was popular is still alive.

Two More Final tables

Just busted out of a 78 player NLHE Rebuy tournament. The tournament paid the top ten, and I busted out in 10th, so I won $25. Since I did a Rebuy and an add-on, which along with the entry fee were each $10, I actually took a slight loss. On the other hand, this is the 2nd consecutive tournament where I made the final table, so I have to look at this as positive.

Just busted out of another tourney--this one PLO. Took 6th place out of 121, which paid $27. It was a rebuy tournament, and I'm not sure how many times I rebought, but I think I made a little.

I Make Final Table, Chelsea Chokes?

I woke up hung over this morning, perhaps still slightly drunk, from the previous night of Soju, and proceeded to take sixth place in a 985 man Rebuy NLHE tournament. I won $398. I think this was the biggest tournament I ever made a final table in, and it may have been my biggest prize as well. I'll have to check how I did in October 2005 to be sure. My Mansion account was down to $75, so this is pretty nice.

I'm watching Manchester United beat Liverpool right now. Before the game I was torn, since as a Chelsea supporter I really want both teams to lose. I guess I was rooting for injuries.

Since Chelsea trails United in the Premiereship standings it would help them if Liverpool won. A draw would also help. A Liverpool win could also help Chelsea, and everyone else in the Champions League, since as long as Liverpool stays in contention in the Premiereship they will have a harder time in the Champions League, since they will then face the pressure of trying to win game after game in both competitions. Liverpool is considered to not be quite as deep as the other top teams, and they therefore should have a difficult time succeeding on two or more fronts, so to speak.

My only reason for rooting for United is that Liverpool is about to play Chelsea in the Carling Cup, and i would rather see the Reds liming in to Stamford Bridge than see them flying high after a win over Man U. Overall, a draw between the two northern giants would probably suit Chelsea best, since then each team would get a point, instead of one of them getting three. Even so, some late heroics by Liverpool would probably do much to bolster their confidence, so I am fairly satisfied with their loss (the game ended a few minutes ago). If Manchester City, or perhaps Everton or Portsmouth can stay close that would also pressure Liverpool to win, since a fifth place finish would lock then out of the Champions League for '08-'09, unless they manage to win the whole thing, of course.

Arsenal v. Chelsea is under way, and yellow cards are flying. John Terry just came out with an injury, and I can't tell what happened because I'm listening to the announcers jibber-jabber in Hangul. If the Blues' defense holds up I'm expecting a rather ugly draw, follwed by a riot. You just don't go into Emirates and come out with 3 points....

Gallas just scored for Arsenal. Fuck.