Hog Heaven, The Old _________slinger rides again!
Black Francis and I are about a third of the way to the US Army Propaganda School, a hop, skip and jump from NSA headquarters. We are more like a hop and skip from Little Rock, Arkansas, and I have never seen so many cars festooned with Razorback stickers (mostly trucks & SUVs) in my life.* I thought Texas was Horn happy. These people are HOG happy. Of course, many of them are probably returning from Cowboy stadium, where their Hogs beat the Aggies, 24-17. Since they covered the ultimate 6 point spread, I'm Hog happy too.
Me and Francis stopped at a Buffalo Wild Wings a bit before Little Rock, to watch the Cowboys lose. I had a drink called a Saucy Mary without asking what the ingredients were, figuring a wing place would be using extra hot sauce. Negative. This was like drinking BBQ sauce. Somewhat watered down BBQ sauce, but still. My burger had BBQ sauce on it as well. Maybe I should read the ingredients for the Big Daddy Jack Burger before ordering that as well.
Speaking of Big Daddy Jack, the Old Gunslinger is facing some sort of possible suspension for texting pictures of the Old Yogurtslinger to a NY Jets employee back in '08, when he was a NY Jets employee. I can't believe a sports / news junky like myself let this story get this far without me knowing about it. On the other hand, it seems like the press is trying to get this story to peak right when the Vikings play thet Jets, so Tony Kornheiser has something to talk about during the broadcast. Would they do something like that?
Brett Favre made sure to ice his elbow during a press conference earlier this week, so he would have an excuse if he sucks Monday Night. What he failed to mention was that this was a recurring injury from wacking off two years ago.** The NFL is making noises like Favre could be suspended before the Monday Night game. It's Monday moring now. Why the hurry all of a sudden. That scared of the NY Post?
Now I understand the what Fantasy Football teams named Favre Dollar Footlongs were going for. I'm considering renaming one of my teams the Old Yogurtslinger in Bretts honor. Let me know what you think of this.
*My favorite was one that said Woooooo Hog Soooooooeeeeee!!!! that covered most of the back of an SUV window, and a personalized plate on a Mercedes SUV that simply proclaimed WOOOOOOOOO.
**Apparently one of his photo texts included a message that he was mastrubating while wearing Crocs. I can't believe this pick up line never occurred to me. Back when I was texting pictures of my wang to get laid, I mean.
Me and Francis stopped at a Buffalo Wild Wings a bit before Little Rock, to watch the Cowboys lose. I had a drink called a Saucy Mary without asking what the ingredients were, figuring a wing place would be using extra hot sauce. Negative. This was like drinking BBQ sauce. Somewhat watered down BBQ sauce, but still. My burger had BBQ sauce on it as well. Maybe I should read the ingredients for the Big Daddy Jack Burger before ordering that as well.
Speaking of Big Daddy Jack, the Old Gunslinger is facing some sort of possible suspension for texting pictures of the Old Yogurtslinger to a NY Jets employee back in '08, when he was a NY Jets employee. I can't believe a sports / news junky like myself let this story get this far without me knowing about it. On the other hand, it seems like the press is trying to get this story to peak right when the Vikings play thet Jets, so Tony Kornheiser has something to talk about during the broadcast. Would they do something like that?
Brett Favre made sure to ice his elbow during a press conference earlier this week, so he would have an excuse if he sucks Monday Night. What he failed to mention was that this was a recurring injury from wacking off two years ago.** The NFL is making noises like Favre could be suspended before the Monday Night game. It's Monday moring now. Why the hurry all of a sudden. That scared of the NY Post?
Now I understand the what Fantasy Football teams named Favre Dollar Footlongs were going for. I'm considering renaming one of my teams the Old Yogurtslinger in Bretts honor. Let me know what you think of this.
*My favorite was one that said Woooooo Hog Soooooooeeeeee!!!! that covered most of the back of an SUV window, and a personalized plate on a Mercedes SUV that simply proclaimed WOOOOOOOOO.
**Apparently one of his photo texts included a message that he was mastrubating while wearing Crocs. I can't believe this pick up line never occurred to me. Back when I was texting pictures of my wang to get laid, I mean.
posted by roQQ | 4:59 AM
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