Bunny Slope Draft Wrap Part 2: Evil Cowboys Still Stay Blue Bottomed
I meant to have part two of my Bunny Slope Fantasy Football Draft review done by now. Lets see if I can bang this thing out.
Meanwhile, in the last couple of days I've bet a slate of road favorites:
greenbay(-3)over PHILADELPHIA, atlanta(-3)over pittsburgh, and
indianapolis(-2.5)over HOUSTON. I was swayed by a covers.com article that said road favorites in week one were 14-9 over the last few years. Right now I only feel good about the Indy pick. I forgot that Dennis Dixon played pretty well the last time Ben Roethlisberger went down...er, got hurt, and my Packer pick is basically a guess that Green Bay gets off to a fast start, while Phily has some growing pains with their new QB. Is this guess enough to justify giving the Eagles 3 at the Link? I have my doubts.
Bill Simmons the Sports Guy thinks you should give teams your own power ratings before the season starts, and then stick to your guns when betting. This will only be good advice if your power ratings happen to be accurate, and lead you to make winning bets. Otherwise, he is recommending stubbornness whether you are winning or not, only good advice if you happen to be right.
As much sense as my story arcs for the Eagles and Packers may make, and as much hype as the Pack is getting,
a.) this arc still probably doesn't justify this line, and
b.) the smart mony will probably get made fading whatever story arcs end up defining this season.
Meanwhile, I've taken michigan(+4)over NOTRE DAME. As much as I would like to see Michigan lose, so as to get Rich Rodriguez fired before he can right the ship, the few highlights I saw of the new Wolverine QB were pretty damn impressive. From what I heard in the pregame, beating UConn was a more impressive feat than beating Purdue, and U-M beat them by a greater margin. Given how close Michigan-Notre Dame has been lately, I like taking the underdog any time they are getting more than 3 as well (heck--more than 2.5), so all the stars are aligned for me to take the hated Wolverines, if not for them to actually cover.
Back to the Bunny Slope. Evil Robot Army had the 7th pick, and managed to avoid embarrasing himself, for the most part. I've been in a Fantasy Baseball league with him this year, and he has the best record in the league by a large margin, despite being a heavy Atlanta Brave homer. After he took Michael Turner in the first round (perfectly legit at 7th, despite the possible homerism) I expected him to take Roddy White in the 2nd, but White lasted all the way to the beginning of the 3rd round, after Evil Robot Army enlisted Ryan Grant. I would probably prefer the Falcons' top WR, since I'm not a big Ryan Grant guy, and since ERA isn't averse to loading up with players from the same team. I'm also not crazy about Philip Rivers with the 31st pick, though if ERA waited 'til the 4th round he probably doesn't get an elite QB. If he must draft that early, I'd prefer Matt Schaub or Tony Romo. Vincent Jackson's suspension and holdout may not hurt Rivers too much, but it drops him below Romo for me. My doubts concerning the Cowboy running game reinforces my opinion. Last year LaDanian Tomlinson believers downgraded Rivers since they thought the Chargers would go back to being a running team. I did not, since you could stick a fork in the former fantasy stud. While rookie Ryan Matthews may not turn the Chargers back into a running team, he at least isn't washed up. (What rookies are washed up?--besides Glenn Coffee, I mean...)
Chad Ochocinco became an Evil Robot in the 4th round. While there is nothing crazy about this pick, 85 is another guy I don't particularly care for. His big mistake came in the 5ht, however, when the Evil Robot Commander took Vincent Jackson, not realizing that he may miss the first 11 weeks or so. Other than wasting an 8th round pick on Atlanta QB Matt Ryan, I don't think he made any more mistakes. I feel like I'm nitpicking this team, but after the way he dominated our baseball league I guess I expected more.
Florida Blue Falcons picked 8th, and waited until about the last ten seconds or so before taking Ray Rice. The Bluebirds are run by perhaps the most football ignorant person I know, and I'm including my pinay wife and Ben Fox. I've dropped anchor over some serious depths of ignorance lately, savy? Anyway, Blue Falcon respected her own ignorance, and when in doubt tended to take the top player on the board. This sensible approach netted her Rice, Randy Moss, Jonathan Stewart, and Tony Romo in the first 4 rounds. This is pretty damn solid, despite possible injury issues with Stewart, as well as with her 6th round pick, Patriot WR Wes Welker. Still, everyone takes on some injury risk, and I got stuck with Welker two rounds earlier in my other draft, where he's not worth as much, since the other league isn't PPR, so what the heck. Welker is a PPR stud, until he blows out one of his legs at least. Depending on how a couple of risky picks pan out, this could end up being the best team in the league, on the draft, at least.
My team, the roQQ boTTomfEEders, picked 9th. I was hoping the Blue Falcons would let Ray Rice fall to me with the 9th pick, and was disappointed enough by how close I came that I went ahead and took Andre Johnson, despite two more stud RBs sitting there, Frank Gore and Steven Jackson. While taking a top WR this early is certainly a legitimate strategy, I must admit that my decision was colored by my disappoitment at not getting Ray Rice, and by my desire to reach for Jamaal Charles with the 16th pick in the next round. Charles has been getting drafted between 25th and 33rd in most drafts, leaving me with a tiny chance of getting him in the 3rd round. Since I got stuck with the 9th pick in both of my drafts, I would need to take him early or probably not get him at all. The last WR I really wanted, DeSean Jackson, went 29th, so I settled for Marques Colston with the 33rd pick. After him went Greg Jennings and both Steve Smiths. I consider Colston and Jennings to be very similar players, since they are both on high powered offenses with enough weapons to get overlooked sometimes. If this hadn't burned me last year when I had Jennings I probably would have taken him over Colston. I got Matt Schaub in the 4th, where I'm used to getting Romo or Rivers. Schaub is usually gone by then. Then Blue Falcon took Romo, in essence Blue Falconing the Romosexuals, leading them to hang Joe Flacco in their closet in the 7th round.
I got Jahvid Best in the 5th round, only reaching about 4 spots to get him, and Arian Foster in the 6th. These, along with Jamaal Charles, could end up being pretty risky picks, though I would argue that most of the backs going in the second round are more unproven than Charles, or are significant injury risks. Jahvid Best is a pretty big injury risk as well, but so are Felix Jones, Marion Barber, and Ricky Williams, and they have more competition for carries, and arguably less upside. I got Arian Foster 64th, which beats the hell out of getting him 30th, like in my other draft.
I was pretty happy with my bench, until Montario Hardesty ended up on crutches the next day, and the Chargers picked up Patrik Clayton, who could endup giving Malcom Floyd significant competition. Otherwise, I hedged some of my risk by picking up the handcuffs for Charles and Best. Anytime you can pick up half the offense for the Lions and Chiefs you have to do it, right?
The 10th pick belonged to the Pittsburgh Stillers. I'd talk bad about the Stiller draft, but their owner is my boss, so....
Cedric Benson went 10th. This is way too soon for him especially with Gore and Jackson still on the board, not to mention DeAngelo Williams. My boss is not the only Stiller supporter scarred by Cedric Benson last year. I think he won comeback player of the year, despite Brett Favre winning comeback player of the month 3 or 4 times in the offseason. If not he should have.
Tom Brady at 15 is a little bit of a reach, though I reached a few spots more for Jamaal Charles, so what the heck. (Is Jamaal Charles my 2010 man-crush of the year? Perhaps.) Knowshon Moreno at 34 is fine...as long as his hamstrings hold up. I made sure I let my boss know about this...right after he took him. Steve Smith in the 4th? I like this better than Chad 85, or Anquan Boldin, the next two to go.
He got Percy Harvin in the 5th Round, and Jason Witten in the 6th. Harvin could be a steal this late, if his migranes clear up. Jason Witten is too good of a blocker to catch passes in the red zone. Great all around player, but this hurts his fantasy value. I'm down in him because I had him last year, and I was dumb enough to take him in the 4th. Much better to take him here.
The 11th and 12th picks went to Jacksonville Stay Hungry, and PR Cowboys. Stay Hungry was a Twisted Sister album back in about '82. Not sure Mike B. is aware of this. I think I saw a PR Cowboy in a New York leather bar, but these days he could have been Dominican. They're hard to tell apart when they're not driving something festooned with their national colors.
Anyway, these guys were both on autopick, though Mike B. may have at least set his board for autopick beforehand. I won't waste time criticizing picks made by autopick since
a.) there was no decisionmaking to critique, and
b.) these teams are probably better than the teams that got picked by conscious, breathing humans (except for Blue Falcon, who doesn't count...though if you've ever watched Dollhouse, and if you ever thought it would be worth 15 large or so to hire some programmers to drop the soul of some fantasy guru into Eliza Dushku, and then invite her to your fantasy draft, you may have some idea how Blue Falcons draft went. Not that you would ever think something like that, or anything....)
Stay Hungry got Larry Fitzgerald with his first round pick...second year in a row, both times on autopick. This year he was working...last year he was drunk. He followed up with Drew Brees, Beanie Wells, LeSean McCoy, Ricky Williams, and Donald Driver. Second year in a row he got Ricky Williams on autopick, though last year, he was drunk. Overall I think his team may have been better last year. It just seems like Ricky will take a step back, and LFitz might too, if Derek Anderson has anything to say about it. On the other hand, Drew Brees, who Mike B. & I interviewed last year hasn't been suspended for fingerbanging some broad with a blood-roofie content level of .10 in some bathroom stall. Of course, last year neither had Big Ben. He was still endorsing Big Ben's Beef Jerky back then.
PR Cowboy got Frank Gore and Steven Jackson with the 12th & 13th picks. Total steals. Steve Smith and Greg Jennings with the wrap in the 3rd & 4th? Can't complain...yet. Vernon Davis & Dwayne Bowe in the 5th and 6th? Davis is a stud TE. I got Bowe about here in my other league. If there is complaining to do about Bowe, I'll make sure it happens. For some reason autopick waited until the 14th round to take Matthew Stafford. If autopick had filled out his roster position by position, I think he should have gotten Matt Ryan in the 8th, but who am I to doubt autopick...or Eliza Dushku possessed by Matthew Berry? As a Lions fan, I hope Matthew Stafford has a great year. As a Jahvid Best owner in two leagues, I hope all Stafford's TD passes go to Best. As the owner of the boTTomfEEders, I hope he crashes and burns, since I'm not sure this team has any other weaknesses. Other than Steven Jackson's surgically repaired back. Or Steve Smith's broken arm. Or Dwayne Bowe's thick skull. Or the crappy QBs who throw to Davis, Smith and Bowe...
Okay, I feel better about my chances vs the PR Cowboys now.
Not sure I'll bother to recap any of the games. If I do, I'll be sure to be insulting. Whatever the outcome, the Romosexuals at the boTTomfEEders should generate an interesting headline.
Meanwhile, in the last couple of days I've bet a slate of road favorites:
greenbay(-3)over PHILADELPHIA, atlanta(-3)over pittsburgh, and
indianapolis(-2.5)over HOUSTON. I was swayed by a covers.com article that said road favorites in week one were 14-9 over the last few years. Right now I only feel good about the Indy pick. I forgot that Dennis Dixon played pretty well the last time Ben Roethlisberger went down...er, got hurt, and my Packer pick is basically a guess that Green Bay gets off to a fast start, while Phily has some growing pains with their new QB. Is this guess enough to justify giving the Eagles 3 at the Link? I have my doubts.
Bill Simmons the Sports Guy thinks you should give teams your own power ratings before the season starts, and then stick to your guns when betting. This will only be good advice if your power ratings happen to be accurate, and lead you to make winning bets. Otherwise, he is recommending stubbornness whether you are winning or not, only good advice if you happen to be right.
As much sense as my story arcs for the Eagles and Packers may make, and as much hype as the Pack is getting,
a.) this arc still probably doesn't justify this line, and
b.) the smart mony will probably get made fading whatever story arcs end up defining this season.
Meanwhile, I've taken michigan(+4)over NOTRE DAME. As much as I would like to see Michigan lose, so as to get Rich Rodriguez fired before he can right the ship, the few highlights I saw of the new Wolverine QB were pretty damn impressive. From what I heard in the pregame, beating UConn was a more impressive feat than beating Purdue, and U-M beat them by a greater margin. Given how close Michigan-Notre Dame has been lately, I like taking the underdog any time they are getting more than 3 as well (heck--more than 2.5), so all the stars are aligned for me to take the hated Wolverines, if not for them to actually cover.
Back to the Bunny Slope. Evil Robot Army had the 7th pick, and managed to avoid embarrasing himself, for the most part. I've been in a Fantasy Baseball league with him this year, and he has the best record in the league by a large margin, despite being a heavy Atlanta Brave homer. After he took Michael Turner in the first round (perfectly legit at 7th, despite the possible homerism) I expected him to take Roddy White in the 2nd, but White lasted all the way to the beginning of the 3rd round, after Evil Robot Army enlisted Ryan Grant. I would probably prefer the Falcons' top WR, since I'm not a big Ryan Grant guy, and since ERA isn't averse to loading up with players from the same team. I'm also not crazy about Philip Rivers with the 31st pick, though if ERA waited 'til the 4th round he probably doesn't get an elite QB. If he must draft that early, I'd prefer Matt Schaub or Tony Romo. Vincent Jackson's suspension and holdout may not hurt Rivers too much, but it drops him below Romo for me. My doubts concerning the Cowboy running game reinforces my opinion. Last year LaDanian Tomlinson believers downgraded Rivers since they thought the Chargers would go back to being a running team. I did not, since you could stick a fork in the former fantasy stud. While rookie Ryan Matthews may not turn the Chargers back into a running team, he at least isn't washed up. (What rookies are washed up?--besides Glenn Coffee, I mean...)
Chad Ochocinco became an Evil Robot in the 4th round. While there is nothing crazy about this pick, 85 is another guy I don't particularly care for. His big mistake came in the 5ht, however, when the Evil Robot Commander took Vincent Jackson, not realizing that he may miss the first 11 weeks or so. Other than wasting an 8th round pick on Atlanta QB Matt Ryan, I don't think he made any more mistakes. I feel like I'm nitpicking this team, but after the way he dominated our baseball league I guess I expected more.
Florida Blue Falcons picked 8th, and waited until about the last ten seconds or so before taking Ray Rice. The Bluebirds are run by perhaps the most football ignorant person I know, and I'm including my pinay wife and Ben Fox. I've dropped anchor over some serious depths of ignorance lately, savy? Anyway, Blue Falcon respected her own ignorance, and when in doubt tended to take the top player on the board. This sensible approach netted her Rice, Randy Moss, Jonathan Stewart, and Tony Romo in the first 4 rounds. This is pretty damn solid, despite possible injury issues with Stewart, as well as with her 6th round pick, Patriot WR Wes Welker. Still, everyone takes on some injury risk, and I got stuck with Welker two rounds earlier in my other draft, where he's not worth as much, since the other league isn't PPR, so what the heck. Welker is a PPR stud, until he blows out one of his legs at least. Depending on how a couple of risky picks pan out, this could end up being the best team in the league, on the draft, at least.
My team, the roQQ boTTomfEEders, picked 9th. I was hoping the Blue Falcons would let Ray Rice fall to me with the 9th pick, and was disappointed enough by how close I came that I went ahead and took Andre Johnson, despite two more stud RBs sitting there, Frank Gore and Steven Jackson. While taking a top WR this early is certainly a legitimate strategy, I must admit that my decision was colored by my disappoitment at not getting Ray Rice, and by my desire to reach for Jamaal Charles with the 16th pick in the next round. Charles has been getting drafted between 25th and 33rd in most drafts, leaving me with a tiny chance of getting him in the 3rd round. Since I got stuck with the 9th pick in both of my drafts, I would need to take him early or probably not get him at all. The last WR I really wanted, DeSean Jackson, went 29th, so I settled for Marques Colston with the 33rd pick. After him went Greg Jennings and both Steve Smiths. I consider Colston and Jennings to be very similar players, since they are both on high powered offenses with enough weapons to get overlooked sometimes. If this hadn't burned me last year when I had Jennings I probably would have taken him over Colston. I got Matt Schaub in the 4th, where I'm used to getting Romo or Rivers. Schaub is usually gone by then. Then Blue Falcon took Romo, in essence Blue Falconing the Romosexuals, leading them to hang Joe Flacco in their closet in the 7th round.
I got Jahvid Best in the 5th round, only reaching about 4 spots to get him, and Arian Foster in the 6th. These, along with Jamaal Charles, could end up being pretty risky picks, though I would argue that most of the backs going in the second round are more unproven than Charles, or are significant injury risks. Jahvid Best is a pretty big injury risk as well, but so are Felix Jones, Marion Barber, and Ricky Williams, and they have more competition for carries, and arguably less upside. I got Arian Foster 64th, which beats the hell out of getting him 30th, like in my other draft.
I was pretty happy with my bench, until Montario Hardesty ended up on crutches the next day, and the Chargers picked up Patrik Clayton, who could endup giving Malcom Floyd significant competition. Otherwise, I hedged some of my risk by picking up the handcuffs for Charles and Best. Anytime you can pick up half the offense for the Lions and Chiefs you have to do it, right?
The 10th pick belonged to the Pittsburgh Stillers. I'd talk bad about the Stiller draft, but their owner is my boss, so....
Cedric Benson went 10th. This is way too soon for him especially with Gore and Jackson still on the board, not to mention DeAngelo Williams. My boss is not the only Stiller supporter scarred by Cedric Benson last year. I think he won comeback player of the year, despite Brett Favre winning comeback player of the month 3 or 4 times in the offseason. If not he should have.
Tom Brady at 15 is a little bit of a reach, though I reached a few spots more for Jamaal Charles, so what the heck. (Is Jamaal Charles my 2010 man-crush of the year? Perhaps.) Knowshon Moreno at 34 is fine...as long as his hamstrings hold up. I made sure I let my boss know about this...right after he took him. Steve Smith in the 4th? I like this better than Chad 85, or Anquan Boldin, the next two to go.
He got Percy Harvin in the 5th Round, and Jason Witten in the 6th. Harvin could be a steal this late, if his migranes clear up. Jason Witten is too good of a blocker to catch passes in the red zone. Great all around player, but this hurts his fantasy value. I'm down in him because I had him last year, and I was dumb enough to take him in the 4th. Much better to take him here.
The 11th and 12th picks went to Jacksonville Stay Hungry, and PR Cowboys. Stay Hungry was a Twisted Sister album back in about '82. Not sure Mike B. is aware of this. I think I saw a PR Cowboy in a New York leather bar, but these days he could have been Dominican. They're hard to tell apart when they're not driving something festooned with their national colors.
Anyway, these guys were both on autopick, though Mike B. may have at least set his board for autopick beforehand. I won't waste time criticizing picks made by autopick since
a.) there was no decisionmaking to critique, and
b.) these teams are probably better than the teams that got picked by conscious, breathing humans (except for Blue Falcon, who doesn't count...though if you've ever watched Dollhouse, and if you ever thought it would be worth 15 large or so to hire some programmers to drop the soul of some fantasy guru into Eliza Dushku, and then invite her to your fantasy draft, you may have some idea how Blue Falcons draft went. Not that you would ever think something like that, or anything....)
Stay Hungry got Larry Fitzgerald with his first round pick...second year in a row, both times on autopick. This year he was working...last year he was drunk. He followed up with Drew Brees, Beanie Wells, LeSean McCoy, Ricky Williams, and Donald Driver. Second year in a row he got Ricky Williams on autopick, though last year, he was drunk. Overall I think his team may have been better last year. It just seems like Ricky will take a step back, and LFitz might too, if Derek Anderson has anything to say about it. On the other hand, Drew Brees, who Mike B. & I interviewed last year hasn't been suspended for fingerbanging some broad with a blood-roofie content level of .10 in some bathroom stall. Of course, last year neither had Big Ben. He was still endorsing Big Ben's Beef Jerky back then.
PR Cowboy got Frank Gore and Steven Jackson with the 12th & 13th picks. Total steals. Steve Smith and Greg Jennings with the wrap in the 3rd & 4th? Can't complain...yet. Vernon Davis & Dwayne Bowe in the 5th and 6th? Davis is a stud TE. I got Bowe about here in my other league. If there is complaining to do about Bowe, I'll make sure it happens. For some reason autopick waited until the 14th round to take Matthew Stafford. If autopick had filled out his roster position by position, I think he should have gotten Matt Ryan in the 8th, but who am I to doubt autopick...or Eliza Dushku possessed by Matthew Berry? As a Lions fan, I hope Matthew Stafford has a great year. As a Jahvid Best owner in two leagues, I hope all Stafford's TD passes go to Best. As the owner of the boTTomfEEders, I hope he crashes and burns, since I'm not sure this team has any other weaknesses. Other than Steven Jackson's surgically repaired back. Or Steve Smith's broken arm. Or Dwayne Bowe's thick skull. Or the crappy QBs who throw to Davis, Smith and Bowe...
Okay, I feel better about my chances vs the PR Cowboys now.
Not sure I'll bother to recap any of the games. If I do, I'll be sure to be insulting. Whatever the outcome, the Romosexuals at the boTTomfEEders should generate an interesting headline.
posted by roQQ | 8:25 PM
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