JimJim BSes Around / Ravens Romp / Defenseless in Arizona

I took the Phily moneyline parlayed with the over yesterday, which gave me a little better than 4/1 odds. Of course, Dallas won, 34-14. That's fine, because I made this bet as insurance for my futures bets on the Cowboys. If I'd won, this would have covered my futures bets on both the Cowboys and the Packers, who I have at 11/2 and 9/1 to win the NFC Championship, and at
10/1 and 22/1 to win the Super Bowl, respectively.

The Packers' odds have already dropped to 7/1 and 15/1, in front of their victory over the Cardnails later this afternoon. I expect the Cowboys odds to drop to about 3/1 and 6/1 when the futures odds come out again.

I got the moneyline/over parlay idea from a BS Report earlier this week, where Bill Simmons suggested it to Chad Millman, who endorsed it as a smart bet. As do I, not that you care. My point is that I still consider it a smart bet after it lost, due to the 4/1 odds, not to mention the fact that if the Eagles had found a way to come back, the over covers by 20 points. The Sports Guy was completely right to say the Eagles would need the game to be a shootout in order to win.

Speaking of the BS Report, I talked to my wife yesterday, and within the last couple of days my 2 1/2 year old, who doesn't talk, but can work an i touch, managed to download a BS report. I have no idea if he did this on purpose, but since she just got the i touch in the last month or two, and since I've never even seen it, except in pictures, he didn't find his way there because of any electronic pathway of mine. Does the Sports Guy have another generation of readers waiting in the wings? Or at least listeners? I am petrified for my son's attention span right now. Who's going to do their homework when they can play with the next generation of electronic devices? On the other hand, these things will probably do their trig homework for them, something that once would have been considered cheating. The rise of the machines is near. Other than that, the future seems bright.


I've been listening to the BS Report all the way back to when it was "Eye of the Sports Guy," so my kid probably recognizes Bill's voice. Given the fact that every time I'm away from home for a bit he forgets who I am, he may recognize Bill's voice more than he does my own. And I'm on the radio, damnit! I have a radio voice! At least compared to Bill Simmons.

I probably would have just taken the Cowboys(-4) if I hadn't been reading Millman. The outcome was pretty much what I expected, but that doesn't mean Cowboys(-4) isn't a sucker bet. Right now my theory is that sucker money rules the playoffs. Personally, I think it pays to take the teams with momentum, if you can figure out who they are. Two years ago I went 3-1 taking the Giants, the lone exception being their OT victory at Green Bay. On the other hand, I went 0-3 on the Cardnails last year, until finally winning a tease on them and the OVER in the Super Bowl. I don't trust teams who bring shaky defensive resumes into the playoffs. Along with the Packers' recent performance, that is why I'm taking

green bay(+3)over ARIZONA, as well as my futures bets on the Pack. If the Cards go deep into the playoffs again they will probably ruin my playoff record again as well.

Ray Rice just scored on the first play of the game for the Ravens, so my bet on the Pats is in jeopardy. I've been pulling for the Ravens all year, and they are probably my favorite AFC team right now. I liked them before I lived outside Baltimore last summer, mainly because of their defensive identity. I think they lost that identity this year, but have been slowly reclaiming it late in the season. Having said that, if they win they could make the AFC hell to handicap.

The Ravens just forced and recovered a Brady fumble. Here we go. Did I mention that I took the Pats at 4-1 to win the Super Bowl in the preseason? You can get better odds than that right now.

LeRon McClain just scored from the one, after Ray Rice was stopped just short of the line. Just like my fantasy season, other than that would have been Willis McGahee. Better odds? Bodog's odds are off the board right now, but in Vegas the odds on the Pats might be soaring right now.

I'm about to go hit the bar. My buddy Ed from Boston is already down there, suffering quietly, I imagine, though there are enough Rhode Island National Guard here right now that O'Kelley's will surely be overwhelmingly pro Pats. I'm not feeling belligerant enough to wear an Orioles hat down there. My heart is with the Ravens, and my $$ is with the Pats, so I guess I'll wear neutral colors.

Go Lions.

Go Tigers.

Go Bears...Bruins?

Go Red Sox?

Go Green.

6:50 to go in the 1st, and Brady just threw a pick. Jesus.

Rice scored again. 21-0. This is great for my Fantasy Playoff Challenge team. I was counting on Rice to score me a bunch of points in a loss, as opposed to Marion Barber's goose egg in yesterday's win. If anybody had Jeremy Maclin and Felix Jones they are sitting pretty right now, mainly because everybody else has more obvious players...like Rice.

Field goal, Ravens. 24-0.

Anyway, I feel bad for Ed. I mainly wanted the Ravens to lose, so they wouldn't cloud my judgement, so I could concentrate on winning $$. Right now they look like they could go further, though I have my doubts about this if the Chargers or Colts don't turn the ball over. If they got to the Super Bowl I would probably have to root for them, even against my 22-1 shot Packers. After all, I wondered in this space if the refs could be outfitted in black and white Cheeseheads after their performance in the Ravens at Packers game earlier this year. Bitter? You could say that.

Not that I think Ravens-Packers was fixed or anything...well, maybe a little, but not compared to Ed. Ed is deeply cynical towards pretty much all sports, and believes most games are fixed. Well, according to covers.com, 70% of bettors took the Ravens, so the bookies got hosed. If anybody fixed today's game it sure the hell wasn't Vegas...or they fixed it before they figured out which way the money was headed....or they forgot to pay off Ray Rice.

The Pats have brought it back to 24-7. Of course, the worst possible outcome for me would be the Pats coming back but failing to cover. I can't count this out, since the Ravens have stopped showing that they are capable of moving the ball. Right now I feel like I might take them vs. the Chargers, but not the Colts. The door could be opening for the slacker sandbagging Colts to get to the Super Bowl, in spite of themselves. The Chargers are the only team left I like to derail the Colts, if the Pats get eliminated here.

.............................................................................

I'm back from the bar. Ed didn't go. Good for him. Ravens 33, Pats 14. Ray Rice got my fantasy playoff challenge team 27 points, and their kicker kicked ass as well, with another 9. Randy Moss got me a whopping 4 points, as Julian Endelman got both of the Patriot scores.

Ed worked last night, so my guess is he slept through it all. I'll let him sleep. The Rhode Island National Guard wasn't there either. They will probably be there later on, getting loaded and what not. The R.I.N.G.'s presence down here has had the fortunate side effect of clarifying Jersey Shore for the uninitiated, i.e. those from the south (or anywhere other than the East Coast, really) who don't know what a guido is. You'd think 40 or so years of movies and TV shows about the mafia would have enlightened the outer provinces, but I guess not.

Jersey Shore has had the fortunate side effect of making the term guido commonplace. Now I don't have to worry about seeming racist if I use the term. It joins redneck and white trash as perhaps the only slurs acceptable these days. Judging by the casts' enthusiasm for the term, you might not even have to worry about getting your ass kicked if you use it either, though I wouldn't bank on it. Speaking of which, the R.I. guidos seem to be pretty well behaved relative to the cast of Jersey Shore--then again, the miscreants on COPS seem pretty well behaved relative to the cast of Jersey Shore.

Maybe we're not feeding them enough liquor.

The Green Bay Packers have been feeding Arizona the ball enough to trail, 24-10 at halftime. This doesn't feel as insurrmountable as Phily's predicament yesterday...or New England's this afternoon. Probably has something to do with Arizona's defense, relative to the Cowboys or Ravens. On the other hand, we saw this last year. The Cardnails look poised to ruin my playoffs again.

Anybody take the over? Green Bay narrowed the gap to 31-24, but Arizona is threatening again after a 42 yard run from Beanie Wells.

Good God. Green Bay just answered 'Zona's last score with one of their own, on 4th & 10, no less. 38-31. Green Bay might have a chance if they could successfully onside kick a couple more times. The 4th quarter is barely under way, and we might see them double the over by the end. Defense? Defense my ass.

I've talked about this before, but it bears repeating. Bill Simmons coined the term "sports bigamist." While I may be quibbling over the definition, I would lke to say that I consider myself more of a "sports philanderer," and I expect my son to be another, whether I raise him that way or not. He is half Filipino, after all.

Did I jinx the 'Zona offense? They just punted. Hopefully the Packers don't follow suit. But they probably will--their offense sucks.

I am loyal to my Detroit teams. You could say we have an open relationship...sort of like when John Edwards or Newt Gingrich's wives were in the hospital. Not that the Lions have a terminal illness or anything...

What? Their wives are still alive? You try to come up with a good analogy on the fly. Fine...I'm more like a sports Elliot Spitzer, only if his wardrobe consisted of T-shirts from various bordellos.

Green Bay has tied the score. Thank you, reverse jinx. Bill should copyright the reverse jinx, but he's too much of a humanitarian.

I'd like to retract my previous statement comparing myself to Eliot Spitzer. I'd rather go for a Tiger Woods analogy. After all, I took my wife to a driving range when she was six months pregnant, and I have a thing for Michelle Wie, who has to be 19 by now, I might add. I'd like to remind everyone for the record that Tiger is half-asian, just like my son.

Arizona is up 45-38, 2:26 left to play. If Green Bay manages to score I'm wondering if they can score again after Arizona. 3rd & 5 from the 25.

First down on a pass to Jermichael Finley.

Touchdown on the next play. 1:52 to go. Way too much time left. Didn't the Packers learn anything from losing to the Steelers a few weeks ago? Warner is WAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY hotter than Roethlisberger was right now, I might add.

I may live to regret saying it, but I think Packer fans are more obnoxious than Cowboy fans right now. This could easily change, now that the Cowboys have won a playoff game. As previously noted, Cardnails fans aren't obnoxious, because they don't exist, though that may change in the near future. Warner needs to hurry up and retire, give that Leinert guy his shot.

Arizona is in field goal range now. :14 seconds left, and I guess Arizona is out of timeouts, because they are about to kick.

I was about to say this one is over, but how many reverse jinxes can you attempt in a row? The kicker missed. on the downside, I would have gotten a push out of this. On the other hand, if the Packers can figure out how to play defense occasionally, I stand to make alot of $$ in a few weeks.

That was probably a bad time to mention that, but Charles Woodson called tails, and the Packers won the toss. I've been avoiding extreme punctuation for a few sentences now. The football gods don't go for that sort of thing.

It's 3rd and long. The Cardnails have chosen an inopportune time to play defense. I'm wondering if the Packers will go for it on 4th down, since their defense hasn't made a stop all game, and since Bill Belichek has legitimatized that approach.

It's over. I'm not sure if that was a fumble or a pick, but the Cardnails jsut scored. 51-45. The rest of these playoffs could be ridiculously difficult to handicap. I shouldn't be in shock that the Packers lost, considering how hard they tried to blow this game, but I am.

I can't believe I didn't think of it with 1:52 to go, but the Packers should have done the Mike Tomlin thing and onside kicked. Or not. Really, 1:52 is probably not enough time to get away with that.