Mets not Cross-dressing Imposters
Earlier this year I expalined my reasons for betting on an undermanned Atlanta Braves team to win the NL East. In the process I compared the New York Mets to a 9th Avenue transvestite, i.e. looks great from behind or from a distance, but get a little closer and...Hey! Nice Adams apple! She's a man, man!
Well, as I watch the Mets play the last of their '06 Subway Series games, I must concede that the Mets are for real. They are not cross-dressing imposters. They lead the NL East by 11.5 games, and lead the St. Louis Cardinals by 4 games. They have the best record in the National league. But here's the thing.
Of course you know why I mention the St Louis Cardinals. For the last two years they have had the best record in the Major Leagues. Getting ahead of them is a big deal. But, as interleague play comes to a close, we can look back and see that the Cardinals were swept by the White Sox and the Tigers, and the Mets were swept by the Red Sox. As we speak the Yankees are about to salvage a split in the Subway series, leading 16-6, er...16-7 (Carlos Beltran just homered again) in the top of the 9th. In 15 games between the 4 best AL teams and the 2 best NL teams, the NL won three games. Three.
And you know why I mention four AL teams and only two NL teams. There are only two NL teams with a chance of competing with the AL's best. (Houston might also have a shot, but currently they are two games below .500, so I'm leaving them out, for now at least.) The NL, ladies and gentlemen, is weak.
So while I am long overdue to apologize to the Mets for comparing them to transvestites (this is it, the apology I mean) I'm not about to crown them Prom Queens. They may be a real girl, but Miss America they ain't.
No. They are one of those girls that in a few years will emerge as a fat Army wife. Not one who put on a few pounds after she popped out a few kids, but used to be hot either. I'm talking about the fat chick that never was hot, but was the first piece of ass Joe could find when he got out of Basic. At best, they are the cutest chick hanging out at the trailer park back home, or his high school sweetheart, whose first pregnancy was either unusually long, or unusually short, because nine months before Joe was eating Georgia red clay.
Army wives are a savy bunch, who know how to take advantage of opportunities as they arise. When competition is light, anyone has a shot. Fortunately for them, they will never have to face the eventual AL champ in a best-of seven series.
2004: Boston Red Sox vs. St. Louis Cardinals: Sox 4-0.
2005: Chicago White Sox vs Houston Astros: Sox 4-0.
2006: ?
Personally, the White Sox over the Mets in four wouldn't surprise me.
Well, as I watch the Mets play the last of their '06 Subway Series games, I must concede that the Mets are for real. They are not cross-dressing imposters. They lead the NL East by 11.5 games, and lead the St. Louis Cardinals by 4 games. They have the best record in the National league. But here's the thing.
Of course you know why I mention the St Louis Cardinals. For the last two years they have had the best record in the Major Leagues. Getting ahead of them is a big deal. But, as interleague play comes to a close, we can look back and see that the Cardinals were swept by the White Sox and the Tigers, and the Mets were swept by the Red Sox. As we speak the Yankees are about to salvage a split in the Subway series, leading 16-6, er...16-7 (Carlos Beltran just homered again) in the top of the 9th. In 15 games between the 4 best AL teams and the 2 best NL teams, the NL won three games. Three.
And you know why I mention four AL teams and only two NL teams. There are only two NL teams with a chance of competing with the AL's best. (Houston might also have a shot, but currently they are two games below .500, so I'm leaving them out, for now at least.) The NL, ladies and gentlemen, is weak.
So while I am long overdue to apologize to the Mets for comparing them to transvestites (this is it, the apology I mean) I'm not about to crown them Prom Queens. They may be a real girl, but Miss America they ain't.
No. They are one of those girls that in a few years will emerge as a fat Army wife. Not one who put on a few pounds after she popped out a few kids, but used to be hot either. I'm talking about the fat chick that never was hot, but was the first piece of ass Joe could find when he got out of Basic. At best, they are the cutest chick hanging out at the trailer park back home, or his high school sweetheart, whose first pregnancy was either unusually long, or unusually short, because nine months before Joe was eating Georgia red clay.
Army wives are a savy bunch, who know how to take advantage of opportunities as they arise. When competition is light, anyone has a shot. Fortunately for them, they will never have to face the eventual AL champ in a best-of seven series.
2004: Boston Red Sox vs. St. Louis Cardinals: Sox 4-0.
2005: Chicago White Sox vs Houston Astros: Sox 4-0.
2006: ?
Personally, the White Sox over the Mets in four wouldn't surprise me.
posted by roQQ | 9:24 PM
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