(The following has been sent to Bill Simmons. Hopefully it will appear in a Sports Guy mailbag in the near future.)

Now that we may be entering the asterick era of MLB records, I figured I'd celebrate by setting a record for astericks in a mailbag question:

Hank Aaron is to Meat Loaf as Barry Bonds* is to ___________*?

a.) Motley Crue*
b.) W.A.S.P.**
c.) Snoop Dogg***
d.) Uncle Kracker****
e.) none of the above due to weak analogy--Meat Loaf more like Wade Boggs than Aaron (contact hitter, willing to go to the opposite field*****)
f.) none of the above--Meat Loaf more like Bobby Bonds (set record for strikeouts in 1969--broke it a year later)

*stats enhanced by frequenting of strip clubs
**purists oppose including unnatural +/or non-consensual acts
***pimpin' ain't easy--or legal
****"swim through your veins like a fish in the sea" lyric may actually personify illegal performance enhancing substances
*****Of course, Aaron hit to the opposite field all the time--but for home runs. I suppose this sort of prowess would be analogous to David Lee Roth. Or KISS.