Howard Welles makes contact

Howard Welles has contacted me via Facebook. He wants to know when I'll be back in ground zero of the Economic meltdown, aka Michigan. This is all fine and dandy, except that this means my next trip home will inevitably lead to nights out on the town with Howard, which will lead to me whistling past the graveyard, jail, or possibly divorce court.

When you get an invite from Howard Welles, you go.

I could hide out in Vegas, but he'd find me there. Especially there.

Howard is a bundle of bad and expensive habits wrapped up in a white linen jacket he borrowed from Tony Montana or a televangelist and never gave back. I considered getting one from Men's Warehouse when I was in Baltimore for 45 bucks, just in case I decide to retire to the Philippines. I held off, because the jacket would just end up sitting in the closet for the next eleven years. Even then, I would probably prefer to keep a low profile, but that's not Howard's style.



Howard routinely indulges in practices that are tolerated in the rich as eccentricity, but are shunned as criminal when the poor try them out. I'd tell you more, but why help make messes for his lawyers to clean up?





The last time we went out Squatch got picked up for lewd behavior and public indecency. I suppose it could have been worse....