Giants, Chargers Exposed

I took the Eagles and four as expected. Right now it's 3-0 New York, and Pennsyltucky Dave is sitting on the couch next to me in a Westbrook jersey. This can't end well. Either I will end up listening to him bitch through the entire Chargers game, or he will be insufferably obnoxious through the entire Chargers game.

Pensyltucky Dave told his friends at home I call him that. One responded, "I ain't no hick!" At least he knew I was implying that they were hicks. Next he'll be walking upright.

McNabb just stuck it across, and Dave belted out an E-A-G-L-E-S cheer. Lord. Now he's yelling at Derrick Ward not to mess with Brian Dawkins or Dawkins will tear him a new asshole. Something like that. I'm silently congratulating myself on not letting him drink.

The Giants got a safety on a bad call. McNabb got hit, altering his pass and confusing the refs into thinking he intentionally grounded the ball. 7-5. In related news, I'm considering offering Dave some coffee, but I'm not sure about giving him caffiene.

It's 4th & 2 for the Giants, just before 1/2time. The Giants kicker looks like the guy that throws the remote at the wide screen TV in the "wanna get away?" Southwest ads. He made the field goal, so he's two out of three and its too soon to make fun of him. Maybe in the 2nd half.

Philly drove down and answered with a field goal of their own. It's halftime, and Philly leads
10-8. Philly will get the ball to start the 2nd half, and will get the ball in the 4th quarter. MVP so far? The wind.

4:20 left in the third, and Philly holds onto a 13-11 lead, as the Giants kicker hooks one left. Wanna get away? Har-de-har. He's three of five, and 4 of 5 would give them a lead....

Field goals will not decide this game. Philly leads, 23-11, 3:42 remaining. Me and Dave are trying to figure out pointspreads for the next couple of weeks. I say Philly by one, or a pick next week. At first Dave said 'Zona by three, then he backed off to a pick. Sandbagger.

Steve Smith (the Giants wideout, not Carolinas) just juked the ball out of his hands. The Eagles recovered. Game over. First NFL game ever to end 23-11.

I am LaDanian Tomlinson in more ways than I know, according to the Chunky Soup ads. Tell me about it. I turn 39 this month. I too, am old and washed up. I too, watched helplessly as the Chargers lost. Worse, I watched them fail to cover. I wonder if Pittsburgh's 35-24 butt-whipping was convincing enough that we don't have to listen to Charger fans whine in the offseason. Or the Chargers for that matter.

You don't hear me whining about the loss. I'm whining on the inside. Har.

Actually I don't mind losing that one a bit. Now I don't have to figure out if the Chargers are for real or not. Just Arizona. And Philadelphia. And Baltimore. Just kidding. Arizona is not for real, Philly is. Baltimore is for real too, but not as real as Pittsburgh. The Steelers just turned into the sort of singularity that White Zombie had in mind in the song
More Human than Human. They are predatory higher life forms, like vampires. Or lycans.

My dish went out again after the games. Now I have something to whine about. Since it was out this morning I knew how to fix it, and did. Who did I see as soon as the signal came back? LT! I waited expectantly, but he delivered a whine-free interview. He looked like he was about to cry, but hey, so does Tim Duncan, and Duncan's the man.

Now I have a week to talk myself into betting on the Ravens, getting five. I don't think it will be long enough. Before the game I was figuring on taking the Ravens. I figured the Steelers would be overrated, and the Chargers would still feel unreliable enough to where I'd like Baltimore. Can Baltimore win? Yes. Can they cover? Certainly. Can Pittsburgh pop Joe Flacco like a zit? You betcha. I'll betcha.

Pittsburgh lost to New York and Philly earlier this year. At this point I think I'd favor them over either. We'll see in a couple of weeks, when the Eagles once more play the bridesmaid, after which their fans again consider whether they want to can Donovan McNabb. I pissed and moaned a couple of years ago when the Steelers lucked their way to a championship over the
C-hawks (C is for choke--clever, no?) but this time they are for real. They are like the 2000 Ravens, only with a better offense. The Ravens are like the 2005 Steelers, only they don't get to play against Jake Plummer. And they didn't luck their way past Peyton Manning, only Kerry Collins. That's right, the Titans dominated much of that game. If the Ravens regress towards the mean, that means they get reamed--next week.

I'm glad Arizona won, since I picked them, but now that the Chargers won one playoff game, and 'Zona's won two, we're never going to get the NFL to fix the playoff system.

I've already heard the arguments for San Diego. I know they beat New England. Matt Cassel was still trying to figure out what he was doing, but fine. San Diego deserves it more. Fine.

New England beat Arizona 47-7. Pittsburgh looks dominant right now, especially against the remaining 6 and 4 seeds. Do they beat Indy? Do they beat New England? I'm happy to watch them play Baltimore, because I think they belong in the AFC Championship game. But I'd be happy to watch them play New England too. Would Pittsburgh be happy to play them? Maybe. I bet they wouldn't be favored by five though.

What will Pittsburgh be favored by if they play Arizona? 13? 14? 16? Philly is favored by 2.5 or 3, depending on who you ask, which works out to them being favored by 8.5 or 9 at home. 'Zona's 20 point win over Carolina has earned them a point of respect. Nice. Philly beat them in Philly, 48-20. Nice.